Breathe Your Way Back - Using Breath to Regulate in the Moment

Breathing is something we do all day without thinking. Yet when it comes to managing stress, emotions and focus, how we breathe makes all the difference.

The breath is a direct line to our nervous system – it can signal the body to prepare for action or to slow down and recover. It reflects and influences the balance between two key branches of the autonomic nervous system:

• The sympathetic nervous system – This is the “fight, flight or freeze” response. It gears us up for action when we feel under threat. Breathing tends to be faster, shallower, and higher in the chest.

• The parasympathetic nervous system – This is the “rest and digest” mode. It supports calm, digestion, and recovery. Breathing is typically slower, deeper, and more rhythmic.

When we are stressed, anxious or emotionally triggered, our breath often changes without us noticing. By paying attention and making small adjustments, we can switch on the parasympathetic system and bring ourselves back to a steadier state.

Breathing under stress:

• Breathing becomes quick and shallow.

• It may feel like it’s coming from the top of the chest or throat.

• The exhale is often shorter than the inhale.

• We may even unconsciously hold our breath.

When relaxed:

• Breathing is slower and deeper.

• The belly expands gently on the inhale.

• The exhale is long and unforced.

• The breath has a natural rhythm.

Noticing these patterns can be the first step in shifting from tension to calm.

Here are some practical ways to use your breath to regulate when you feel heightened or dysregulated.

1) Lengthen your exhale

1. Inhale naturally through the nose.

2. Exhale slowly through the mouth or nose, making it longer than the inhale (for example, breathe in for 4, out for 6). This tells the body it’s safe to relax.

2) Box breathing (great for focus and calming)

1. Inhale for a count of 4.

2. Hold for 4.

3. Exhale for 4.

4. Hold for 4.

5. Repeat 3–5 rounds.

3) 4-7-8 breathing

Useful before sleep or when you want to deeply relax...

1. Inhale through the nose for 4.

2. Hold for 7.

3. Exhale slowly for 8.

4) Grounded belly breathing

1. Place a hand on your belly and one on your chest.

2. Breathe so the belly rises more than the chest.

3. Keep shoulders relaxed.

4. Focus on the gentle rise and fall.

5) Sigh it out

1. Take a deep breath in.

2. Let out a long audible sigh.

3. Repeat 2–3 times to release tension quickly.

Quick tips for in-the-moment regulation

• Notice your breathing before you try to change it. Awareness comes first.

• If possible, close your eyes or soften your gaze to reduce sensory input.

• Use posture – loosen your shoulders, unclench your jaw and open your chest.

• Pair breath with a calming phrase, eg: “I am safe” or “It will pass”.

• If movement helps, try slow walking while focusing on steady breaths.

Breathing isn’t just about oxygen. It’s a built-in regulation tool that’s always available and always free. Whether you’re in a meeting, on a train or lying awake at night, a few intentional breaths can shift your physiology, ease your mind and help you respond rather than react.

The next time you notice your stress levels rising, pause and ask: What is my breath doing right now? Then make one small adjustment. You might be surprised at how quickly your system begins to settle.