How to Have a Difficult Conversation

I’ve been thinking recently about how readily we avoid having potentially 'tough' conversations and I came across a What’s Up Docs? episode on BBC Sounds that feels especially relevant.

Chartered Psychologist Kimberley Wilson joins Drs Chris and Xand van Tulleken to explain not only why difficult conversations are so hard, but also how to prepare for them. A key resource is her 10-step plan for approaching these talks more constructively, summarised below:

1. Consider the cost of not having the conversation

2. Think about the benefits

3. Decide if it’s worth doing

4. Get support from someone you trust

5. Initiate the conversation in a thoughtful way

6. Prepare - make notes, think through responses

7. Meet face to face in a neutral space if possible

8. Allow the other person time to think and respond

9. Recover and regulate afterwards

10. Come back to the conversation later if needed

Kimberley’s wider work (including her book How to Build a Healthy Brain) shows how mental resilience, emotional regulation and self-care feed into how well we can have these conversations.

If there’s a conversation you’ve been putting off, this may prove a very useful resource. It gives you permission to prepare, prompts you to decide whether it’s worth pushing through and shows what tools you might use to make it go better.

For a listen to the podcast episode (and include the follow-up "Doctor's Notes" too) visit https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002c3gb

Read a more detailed overview of Kimberley's 10-Point plan here.