Therapy and Coaching - Surfing the Same Sea

Although not (yet?) a surfer, I love the sea. And to me, life often feels like being out on the ocean. Some days are calm and clear, some days bring rolling waves and sometimes storms arrive without warning. Each of us is out there on our own surfboard, doing our best to balance, steer and keep moving forward.

When I think about the difference between therapy and coaching, I often picture them through this sea and surfboard metaphor. Both happen in the same ocean of life. Both are ways of helping someone on the board.

But the role each plays is slightly different.

Therapy – Steadying the board

In therapy, the focus can often be on what’s happening beneath the surface. Maybe someone keeps getting pulled under by rip currents from the past. Maybe old storms still shape the way the water feels today.

Here, the therapist might be in the water alongside the surfer.

Sometimes they’ll help hold the board steady so the person can climb back on. Sometimes they’ll tread water with them, creating space to rest, recover and understand why certain waves feel so hard to manage. Therapy can help build strength and trust in the sea again, so riding the board feels possible.

Coaching – Catching the waves

Coaching looks more at where the surfer wants to go next.

The coach is usually nearby, on their own board, watching carefully and reflecting back what they see. They may point out which waves are coming, encourage the surfer to try a different stance, or challenge them to go for a bigger wave than they thought possible.

The focus is forward – building confidence, agility and choice so the surfer feels ready to ride with energy and intention, whatever the weather brings.

Same sea, different role

The ocean doesn’t change depending on whether you’re working with a therapist or a coach. The weather patterns – those emotional highs and lows – still roll through.

The difference is in the role of the person alongside you.

A more therapeutic relationship may help when past storms or hidden currents are pulling you under. While working with a coach may help when you’re ready to look ahead and ride the waves with purpose.

And sometimes, the two flow together. Someone who has found steadiness in therapy may then turn to coaching to ride forward. Or someone working with a coach might realise it’s time to dive deeper with a therapist for a while.

I am not (yet?) a therapist, but as a coach and supervisor I believe there is an important and valid restorative element to these relationships.

They create the space for an individual to pause, be heard and reconnect with their confidence and purpose.

At times this means working with what sits beneath the surface – not to heal the past, but to use the insight and awareness as valuable data to help make better informed and more intentional choices.

The sea will always be bigger than us. We can’t control the tides or the weather, but we can choose how we ride.

Whether through therapy or coaching, what matters most is that we don’t have to face the ocean alone.