Why Do We Gossip? rethinking an Ancient Behaviour

I've been particularly struck recently by the negative connotion surrounding gossip and how I've come to associate it with with pettiness, distraction or even harm.

But when we step back and consider it through the lens of evolutionary psychology, a more nuanced picture emerges. Human beings have always talked about each other. The question is, why?

As social creatures, we evolved in small, interdependent groups where survival depended on cooperation, trust and shared understanding. In that context, gossip wasn’t trivial – it was a tool. It helped our ancestors make sense of their social world, identify potential threats and build alliances. Although we now live in far more complex and distributed communities, the basic drivers remain.

Evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar, famously argued that gossip functions as a kind of “social grooming” - the human equivalent of the mutual grooming seen in primates – helping us build and maintain social cohesion in groups too large for physical interaction alone. In fact, some estimates suggest that up to two-thirds of human conversation is about social relationships.

At its core, gossip is about information. It helps people:

• Strengthen social bonds – Talking about others builds trust and shared perspective. It can deepen connection and reinforce belonging, especially when we're navigating complex group dynamics.

• Understand and enforce social norms – By hearing how others behave (and how that behaviour is judged), we learn what’s acceptable in a particular context, often without needing direct experience.

• Manage risk – Gossip can act as an early warning system. It allows us to avoid potential pitfalls or problematic individuals before harm occurs.

• Negotiate social standing – In subtle ways, the act of sharing (or withholding) information shapes influence and reputation – our own and others’.

Gossip can become toxic when it shifts from sharing social insight to spreading mistrust, exclusion or harm – often driven by fear, insecurity or a lack of psychological safety.

However it also serves important functions in group life. Within teams and institutions, it’s a form of informal data – messy, emotionally charged and often partial, but data nonetheless. Rather than dismiss it outright, we might ask: What is this telling us about the current culture? Where are the tensions, loyalties or blind spots?

As leaders, we don’t need to join in gossip but we do need to understand what drives it. It can offer valuable insight into what people feel but don’t say in formal settings – their anxieties, allegiances and hopes. If we pay quiet attention to the undercurrent, we can often surface what's unsaid and use it as a starting point for dialogue and change.

In that sense, gossip isn't just noise. It’s a signal – and one worth listening to.