The drive to always please other may sound like a worthy cause, but it’s a problematic pattern of behaviour for both the pleaser and those they’re pleasing. A people pleaser could be accused of being a liar. But rather than to gain advantage, they are lying for poignant reasons – they are terrified of the displeasure of others.
Invariably, people pleasing patterns of behaviour are formed in childhood. As a child, we may have experienced someone (usually a mother or father figure) who seemed to be radically incapable of accepting and forgiving certain necessary but perhaps tricky facts about us.
For a short but powerful overview of the origins of people pleasing and steps to take to be pleasant without pleasing, check out the video below.