I’m acutely aware of the stigma attached to crying. That it’s a sign of emotional instability or lack of strength; something socially unacceptable to be ashamed of.
In professional settings, crying is often seen as inappropriate or a lack of self-control. It’s not to be shared and should be done in private. Even something that should be grown out of because it’s immature and what children do.
There are so many beliefs rooted in societal norms or cultural expectations that reinforce these beliefs.
Yet this week has been a tearful one, for my clients and myself, and I have seen this as a good thing, for so many reasons.
In infants, crying is a survival mechanism that alerts caregivers to their needs. From a physiological perspective, crying is also a social signal. It communicates vulnerability and need, prompting others to offer support, which can enhance social bonds and feelings of safety.
Additionally some research suggests that crying helps the brain process and integrate memories and emotions, aiding in understanding and resolving complex feelings.
I choose to embrace the idea that crying is a healthy, meaningful and valuable part of being human, which serves a number of purposes, particularly in maintaining emotional and physical health.
Types of tears
According to those that know, there are three types of tears, each with distinct purposes:
Basal tears are constantly produced to lubricate and protect the eyes from drying out. They keep the surface of the eyes smooth and clear, ensuring proper vision.
Reflex tears are triggered by irritants like smoke, dust or chopped onions. They help flush out harmful substances or particles from the eyes, protecting them from damage.
Emotional tears occur in response to strong emotions such as sadness, joy, or stress. They serve both a physiological and psychological purpose.
Aha! Emotional tears…. These are definitely what have been shed this week. Tell me more!
Emotional tears
Emotional tears contain unique components not found in basal or reflex tears:
Stress hormones – tears help expel excess stress hormones like cortisol, potentially reducing stress levels.
Endorphins – emotional tears may trigger the release of endorphins, natural ‘feel-good’ chemicals that promote relaxation and relief.
Manganese – crying reduces the concentration of manganese in the body, a mineral linked to mood regulation.
Interesting… Stress relief and emotional regulation? Tell me more.
Crying can help regulate emotions by providing a physical outlet for intense feelings. It lowers arousal levels in the nervous system and promotes a return to emotional balance after a distressing experience. It activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting a state of rest and relaxation after crying.
Yet emotional tears offer us even more!
They may help flush out toxins from the body, particularly those associated with stress. By releasing these substances, crying can contribute to a sense of physical and emotional cleansing.
Plus crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, which are natural painkillers. This may explain why people often feel physically better after a good cry.
Crying also relieves physical tension in the body by engaging various systems, such as the cardiovascular and muscular systems, to express and then resolve intense feelings.
Shifting our mindset about crying
In essence, crying is not just an emotional release but also a complex physiological process that supports mental, physical, and social well-being.
So here are a selection of positive and potentially more helpful beliefs about crying you may wish to consider and adopt:
Tears help cleanse and detoxify emotional stress.
Allowing yourself to cry fosters emotional resilience.
Crying can bring a sense of relief and inner peace.
It’s okay to cry; it shows strength, not weakness.
Tears are a healthy response to overwhelming situations.
Crying can be a catalyst for emotional clarity and understanding.
Crying allows you to process grief and loss.
Tears signal the body to relax after releasing tension.
Crying can foster self-compassion and acceptance.
Crying is a reminder that emotions are valid and important.
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